


Fucked Up

by InkDrops



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Biting, Bokuto likes to hear how pretty he is, Frottage, Grinding, Love Bites, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Praise Kink, Short Chapters, Smut, Song: Fucked Up (Bahari), Songfic, except for the smut one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkDrops/pseuds/InkDrops
Summary: For years, he'd told himself no, pushed it all away.But his facade was quickly crumbling and Bokuto wasn't running.Bokuto couldn't have ran, even if he wanted to.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The smut is in chapter 4, so you can skip if that's not your cup of tea ☕
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

_How did_ _I_ _get here_   
_Holding on to fear_

Bokuto shifted in his seat, fixing the fork on the other side of the kitchen table.

_They had talked about this._

_If it ever_ _happened_ _, he wanted it simple and private. Nothing extravagant._

But he worried anyways, fiddling with the velvet box in his pocket while he waited.

_He couldn't believe he was even here._

_When he looked back at the years..._

_He never would've believed he'd get this far, that he'd have this chance._

The front door clicked open and Bokuto straightened.

"Bokuto?"

"In here, Akaashi!" Bokuto smiled despite his nerves. 

_Every bit of fear would be worth it._


	2. Chapter 2

_I pour my love_   
_You wash it down_   
_You roll me up_   
_I smoke you out_

Throughout high school, they played a back and forth game that neither of them could stand. 

Bokuto let his feelings spill out without ever giving them a name. _He knew what he felt in his chest around the younger. He wouldn't shove_ _it_ _away, but he wouldn't call it what it was-not out_ _loud_ _at least._

They were feelings best saved for panicked messages to his best friend and beneath the sheets in his bed, but never anywhere else.

Akaashi scraped away any excess emotion, any inappropriate reaction, that he decided was too much to be aimed at a best friend. _He knew there was more. He would push it away and pretend it_ _wasn't_ _even an option-because it wasn't._

It was only a possibility when he was locked away in his room with no one around to see. It was nonexistent everywhere else.

For three years, they played a back and forth game that neither of them could stand.


	3. Chapter 3

_Called you up, on your phone_

_Lights were off but you were home_   
_Time moves slow when you're alone_   
_Pupils wide like you were rollin'_   
_Now our bodies moving in slow motion_

The music was too loud, but it helped drown out Bokuto's thoughts. He knew that silence would fill the car without it, that he'd be overrun by so much anxious energy that he'd turn around and go home.

His hair was falling flat from all the times his hands had run through it while he drove. It was hanging in his eyes and tickling his nose by the time he pulled the car to a stop, and he huffed frustratedly as he pulled the top half of it back into a ponytail.

_There was no point in looking good. He was going to end up looking like a disaster anyways._

When he looked up to see the front of the house completely dark, a sad sort of comfort settled over him.

_He had no idea if Akaashi was even home, despite the late hour. And if he wasn't home, Bokuto could leave without having to do what he'd been dreading all week._

The hope that the house was empty gave him the courage to pick up the phone. 

Bokuto's eyes darted around the surrounding darkness as the phone rang, pressure building in his chest.

"Bokuto? It's like 3 in the morning, is everything all right?"

_No._

"Yeah, everything's fine." His voice wobbled a little, pressure spreading up and into his throat. "Are you at home?"

"Yeah, do you need something?" The sleep was draining from Akaashi's voice and Bokuto could hear the rustle of sheets.

"Umm, yeah," Bokuto fiddled with his seatbelt, gripping his phone a little too tight. "I'm outside actually, can I come in?"

Normally, Akaashi would've pretended to put up a fight, but Bokuto's voice lacked its usual vibrancy and Akaashi felt his stomach twist at the observation. 

"Yeah, I'll unlock the door." 

The click of the call ending burst the bubble in Bokuto's chest and suddenly, it felt a little bit like he couldn't breath. 

He turned off the car and undid his seat belt, though it did nothing to ease the strangling feeling.

The car door opened and he fought the urge to get sick as he walked up the driveway. 

_He knew anxiety, had learned to ease it with constant movement and excitement._

The doorknob twisted as Bokuto stepped onto the porch and he felt his heart stop.

_But he had never known this. This was a new level, the kind of fear that ate away at his very bones._

Akaashi stood in the doorway, slim frame buried beneath sweatpants and an oversized sweater. 

_Bokuto's heart started again. Now it was going too fast._

"Get in here before you catch a cold." Akaashi grabbed his sleeve and pulled him out of the cold night, shutting the door behind him. 

Bokuto stumbled, lacking his usual coordination, and reached out to Akaashi to catch his balance. 

The younger barely moved under the sudden weight, surprisingly strong and steady. 

When Bokuto moved to stand up, hands gripping Akaashi's sweater, he realized they were far closer than he thought.

If he stood up straight without stepping back, their noses would bump and Bokuto's stomach was already twisting. _If he got that close to Akaashi..._

Bokuto moved to step back but Akaashi's hands rested on his lower back, and he didn't really want to move away from them.

He leaned his head back just enough to see Akaashi's face, and Bokuto's mouth dropped open a little at the brush of pink spread across his cheeks.

Akaashi looked down at him, taking in the mix of emotions in the elders face, and suddenly couldn't help himself.

His hands pressed a little more insistently into Bokuto's back and he pressed down to kiss him, mind blanking on every thought except for _this is my chance._

Bokuto suddenly straightened and Akaashi thought _oh God,_ _I've_ _fucked up,_ trying to take a step back.

When Akaashi had kissed him, Bokuto's mind filled a hundred different thoughts but none of them mattered except for _kiss him back._

When he straightened up, their noses had bumped painfully, abruptly, but Bokuto paid it no mind.

He felt Akaashi start to pull away and tightened his grip on the younger's sweater. 

Bokuto didn't give it much thought before he leaned down to kiss Akaashi again, heart fluttering when he saw the younger's wide eyes fall shut. 

Bokuto's lips were a little bit chapped and maybe he pressed against him just a little too hard, but none of that mattered. 

_For years, he'd told himself no, pushed it all away._

_But his facade was quickly crumbling and Bokuto wasn't running._


	4. Chapter 4

Akaashi pulled Bokuto closer, fingers pressing into the dip of his back, and Bokuto gasped a little, lips parting against his own.

Akaashi couldn't help it, couldn't fight the urge to press his tongue between Bokuto's lips, heart jumping at the quiet groan he got in response. 

Bokuto parted his lips a little more, a little too wide, and his hands slid up to cradle the back of Akaashi's head.

He didn't really know what he was doing, relying purely on instinct, when he dragged his teeth across Akaashi's bottom lip.

Akaashi let out a quiet, whiny gasp, the first noise he'd made since he'd pulled Bokuto inside. He felt Bokuto smile playfully against his lips, and couldn't help doing the same.

Bokuto pulled back enough to look down at Akaashi, taking in the flush on the younger's face, the way his eyes fluttered open at the loss of contact.

"You're beautiful." The words were out before he could stop them, and he felt a spark of embarrassment. 

Akaashi's eyes widened in surprise, before they closed again with the force of his smile.

"Where'd that come from?" Akaashi pressed a quick kiss to Bokuto's lips, not pulling completely away after.

"I've wanted to say it for awhile now," Bokuto admitted, dropping a kiss onto Akaashi's lips.

"Really?" Akaashi smiled, lips brushing Bokuto's as he spoke. "Anything else you've wanted to say?"

Bokuto hesitated. _There was a million things._

"Too many to count," he admitted, playing with Akaashi's hair as he looked down at him.

Akaashi hummed quietly in thought, kissing Bokuto again, and again, until neither of them pulled back.

Bokuto's lips parted easily for Akaashi's tongue, a low moan passing through the elder's body.

"You really like that, don't you?"

Bokuto grinned bashfully. "Maybe."

Akaashi laughed gently and pressed his lips back to Bokuto's.

Rather than deepening the kiss, Bokuto kissed Akaashi's cheek and started trailing kisses across his jawline.

Akaashi melted beneath the feeling, fingers twisting in Bokuto's shirt.

Bokuto pressed a little too harshly and his teeth brushed skin, pushing a quiet gasp out of Akaashi.

Curiously, he used one hand to tilt Akaashi's head to the side, pressing a harsh kiss to his neck before baring his teeth and just barely pressing down.

A shaking moan fell from Akaashi's lips and he hid his face in Bokuto's neck.

"Do that again, please," he mumbled, lips brushing Bokuto's shoulder as he spoke.

Bokuto smirked against his skin but didn't have the self control to tease him about it.

He pressed harsh, open mouthed kisses on Akaashi's bare skin, occasionally biting gently, until Akaashi was a quivering, gasping mess.

Bokuto, having reached Akaashi's collarbone, bit particularly hard.

"A-aah, _fuck_!" Akaashi's voice came out as more of a whine, and Bokuto felt like he couldn't take it anymore.

"Akaashi?" Bokuto's voice came out rough but gentle. "Is there somewhere we could go besides standing in your living room?"

Akaashi slowly pulled back to look at him, wide eyes fluttering over bright red cheeks.

"W-we don't have to do anything else," Bokuto assured, butterflies filling his stomach. "I just think it'll be more comfortable."

Akaashi nodded silently, taking Bokuto by the hand and leading him down a hall.

When they reached his bedroom, Bokuto clicked on the light and Akaashi gave him a curious look.

"I.. wanna be able to see you," Bokuto muttered, hating how stupid it sounded.

Instead of saying anything, Akaashi smiled shyly and pulled Bokuto with him onto the bed.

Bokuto shifted nervously next to him, absentmindedly playing with Akaashi's hand.

"So," he mumbled, "how... how long.." Bokuto swallowed awkwardly, eyes flitting over the other's face.

Akaashi chuckled quietly, bringing his free hand up to Bokuto's cheek and smiling at the way he leaned into it.

"You should wear your hair pulled back more often."

"Oh?" Bokuto's eyes stilled and widened, his cheeks flushing a light pink.

"It's cute." Akaashi was leaning in before Bokuto could say anything else.

The kiss started gentle, less urgent, than the last.

Akaashi made a mental note to buy Bokuto chapstick, pressing forward to wrap his arms around his shoulders.

Bokuto hummed pleasantly against his lips, hands shyly playing with the hem of Akaashi's shirt.

Bokuto, with soft hesitance, bit down on Akaashi's lower lip. When the younger gasped quietly, Bokuto took advantage of his parted lips to slip his tongue into Akaashi's mouth.

Akaashi responded eagerly, pushing his own tongue forward and leaning up on his knees for a better angle.

Bokuto tangled his hands in Akaashi's shirt, tugging him closer.

Akaashi threaded his fingers through Bokuto's hair, the ponytail falling and letting his hair fall loosely into Akaashi's fist.

The younger of the two gave a playful tug, stomach twisting at the surprised moan he got in response. He used his grip on Bokuto's hair to tug his head away from him and tilt it up, watching as Bokuto's mouth fell open.

Akaashi dropped open mouthed kisses across the elders chin, until the angle became too weird.

With little hesitation, he lifted a leg over Bokuto's lap, making a happy sound when Bokuto pulled him down to meet his hips.

Bokuto couldn't help moaning loudly, rough and weak, with Akaashi kissing his neck and the sudden pressure against his dick.

Bokuto ran his hands up Akaashi's sides, heart jumping when his shirt slid up to reveal warm skin.

Akaashi's hips jumped in response, huffing out a heavy sigh and letting his head fall against Bokuto's shoulder, hands going slack.

"Do.. do you like that?" Bokuto's voice shook, looking down at the younger in awe. "Having my hands on you?"

Akaashi swallowed thickly, breath falling heavily against Bokuto's collarbone as he nodded. "I like it a lot."

Bokuto smiled happily, gently dragging his palms over Akaashi's toned stomach, humming happily when the younger leaned into the touch.

Bokuto's hands slowed, stilling high on Akaashi's waist. He looked down at the younger, taking in his beauty like this.

Akaashi's hair was messy and his cheeks were flushed. His eyes were halflidded, pupils overtaking their silvery blue color. Nothing could possibly compare to him and, and... and Bokuto had no idea what to do next.

He could see it in his head, all the things he wanted to do, but only in bits and pieces, missing all of the technical things.

"I don't..." Bokuto trailed off, eyes fluttering shut in embarrassment. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Akaashi's heart softened, despite the burning in his gut, and placed a gentle kiss on the elder's cheek. "Do you want to stop?"

Bokuto opened his eyes and shook his head softly. "No," he admitted. "I don't wanna go _all_ the way... but I do wanna do some stuff."

Akaashi hummed in understanding and gave Bokuto a slow, gentle kiss. "Do you know which stuff?"

"Not really," Bokuto mumbled, leaning in for another kiss. "I think,, as long as our pants stay on..."

Akaashi nodded with a small smile, running his fingers through Bokuto's hair as he kissed him.

_As much as he wanted to go all the way, that was too much, too fast._

The kiss deepened and Akaashi tightened his grip on Bokuto's hair, heart jumping when the elder groaned heavily against him.

Akaashi pulled back enough to look at Bokuto, tugging gently at his hair. "Is it alright if I take off your shirt?"

Bokuto thought for a moment before nodding, letting the younger tug his shirt up.

The fabric got caught around his head and he couldn't help snorting out a quiet laugh. His arms were caught at an awkward angle and he's pretty sure he accidentally hit Akaashi at some point, but by the time it came off, they were both laughing.

Akaashi's laugh was soft and gentle, the complete opposite of Bokuto's, but filled Bokuto to the brim with happiness, and suddenly, Bokuto was kissing him again, laughing against his lips.

"How are you this cute?"

Akaashi, taken aback by both the kiss and the compliment, hummed happily in surprise.

He gave Bokuto a gentle kiss before leaning back to look down at the elder's body.

Bokuto was buff, Akaashi knew this already, but glances while they were changing in the club room didn't do him any justice. Muscles rippled throughout his entire upper body, flexing slightly when Akaashi dragged a gentle hand down his chest.

"God," Akaashi gasped quietly, "you're beautiful."

At the compliment, Bokuto let out a surprised moan that was far too similar to a whine, shocking both of them.

Akaashi looked up at him curiously as the elder's face flushed, wondering silently. _Could he..._

"You're even more beautiful than I imagined."

Bokuto made another noise, definitely a whine this time. Despite the roughness of the sound, there was no denying what it was.

_He definitely did._

_Bokuto Kotaro had a praise kink._

They both realized it in the same instant, but with entirely different reactions.

Bokuto moved to cover his face but Akaashi grabbed his wrists before he had the chance. The grip was a little too tight, but Bokuto didn't really mind it as much as he should've.

"Do you like hearing me tell you how pretty you are?" Akaashi said it quietly, easing into it, and watching with satisfaction as Bokuto's eyes fluttered shut.

_He never would've guessed it but it certainly made sense._

Bokuto swallowed thickly, nodding and shifting his hips. The innocent movement provided the smallest amount of friction, and his mouth fell open at the feeling.

Akaashi gasped quietly, letting his hips roll instinctively.

Bokuto moaned happily, moving his hands to hold Akaashi's thighs as his head fell back.

Akaashi repeated the movement a few times, stomach jumping at every noise that came out of Bokuto's mouth. They were rough and weak, and _loud_. Loud enough that Akaashi was grateful that his parents were gone.

Suddenly, Bokuto's grip on his thighs tightened and the elder looked down at him with nervous excitement.

"Can I... can I try something?"

Akaashi nodded, a million different possibilities running through his head.

But when Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi and flipped them to press the younger down into the mattress, all of that disappeared.

The momentum had their hips sliding together at a new angle and Bokuto's muscles flexed against him, and Akaashi couldn't help arching his back into the feeling.

He buried his hands in the elder's hair, pressing up against him and dragging the elder down against him, and they were moving in the most natural way.

Bokuto lifted one of Akaashi's legs onto his hip, pulling them even closer, and let his free hand fall beside the younger's head.

Akaashi tilted his head to kiss Bokuto's wrist, eyes falling shut as all the feelings started to overwhelm him.

The boy he was in love with was pressing him into his bed and grinding on him, making a fire build in his gut...

Bokuto's hair was tangled and hanging in his eyes but the feeling of it between Akaashi's fingers...

His sweatshirt was too hot and it needed to be off, _right away,_ but before he could say anything, Bokuto was pushing the fabric up and over and off of him...

The cold air of the bedroom on sweat soaked skin had him shivering, but Bokuto's skin was warm when it pressed against him and he said Akaashi's name in _that_ voice every time the younger's nails pressed into the muscle of his back...

Akaashi was feeling too many things to actually process them and he could only think one thing-

" _Fuck,_ Bokuto, you're so good." The words came out in a gasp, barely making it past his lips, but they had a harsh, panting moan falling from Bokuto's lips, the most desperate one yet.

And Akaashi wanted to hear it again.

"Bokuto, baby," Akaashi moaned quietly, "you make me feel so good."

Bokuto muffled a whine against Akaashi's shoulder, open mouthed and desperate. The tension in his stomach was building, spilling into the rest of his body, until it was out of control and unraveling.

His voice came out strangled and broken, his hands tightened on Akaashi's thigh and he bit down on reflex.

Akaashi, feeling Bokuto tense above him and hearing him come undone, the teeth digging into skin...

Akaashi cried out as the fire unfurled in his gut, fingernails dragging across Bokuto's back, feeling the muscles tense and ripple beneath them.

Slowly, both of them untensed, until Bokuto fell down heavily beside Akaashi.

"I thought you didn't know what you were doing," Akaashi huffed, rolling onto his side to face the elder and brushing the hair back out of Bokuto's face.

Bokuto's eyes were drooping sleepily and Akaashi knew they needed to shower but he couldn't find it in himself to make the other move.

"I didn't," Bokuto insisted, cheeks still burning as he pressed closer to the younger. "That whole grinding thing was an accident but you seemed to like it."

"I did," Akaashi admitted, laughing quietly. _He didn't know anybody else who could_ ** _accidently_** _be that good._

Bokuto rolled onto his back with a tired grunt, wincing when his skin met the fabric. _Did Akaashi really_ _scratch_ _that much?_

"You ok?" Akaashi asked, ignoring the pain in his shoulder

"Yeah," Bokuto assured him, smiling brightly. "But you gotta cut your nails before we do that again."

Akaashi felt his already pink cheeks flush and kissed the elder's cheek in apology.

"Are you ok?" Bokuto changed the subject, running a gentle finger over Akaashi's shoulder where it was already bruising. "I didn't mean to bite."

Akaashi nodded despite the burn the elder's touch caused. "I kinda liked it," he admitted, "but why was your first instict to bite?"

Bokuto brought a hand up to cover his face in embarrassment. "I'm not exactly quiet," he mumbled, "and I only get louder."

Akaashi hummed quietly in understanding. "Don't next time."

Bokuto moved his hand to look at him in confusion.

"I like the way you sound, so if no one else is home... don't try to hide it."

"Akaashi!" Bokuto yelped at the younger's bluntness, unusually flustered.

"Just being honest," Akaashi huffed, rolling to face away from him and grinning happily when he felt Bokuto press against his back.

_He hadn't been this content in a long time._


	5. Chapter 5

_I know you didn't ask for it_   
_I know you didn't need my love_

_You thought you were immune to it_   
_And now I've got you all fucked up_

_And I can tell you like it too_   
_And if I fall, I fall with you_

_My veins are what you're running through (through through, through)_

_And now I'm fucked up_

It had been 4 years since that night and Bokuto _still_ didn't know what he was doing. He had been winging it since the very beginning and somehow... somehow, it all worked out.

But his stomach still twisted anxiously. First, it was little things..

_Did his suit fit right?_

_Was his hair ok?_

But then it was bigger things..

_W_ _hat if Akaashi changed his mind?_

_What if he left_ _without_ _even_ _saying anything?_

Every muscle in his body tensed as he looked at all the people sitting in front of him. _This was actually happening._

A strong hand smacked into his shoulder and he looked back with a halfhearted smile.

Kuroo-his _bestman_ -had joined him at the alter dressed in a black vest and red button up that matched the groom's tie.

The younger smiled back. "Don't look so scared. Whatever's going through your head is stupid, so don't listen to it."

Bokuto laughed, some of his nerves easing, as he turned back to the front.

_Everything_ _would_ _be fine._

**...small time skip...**

_Everything_ _was better than fine. It was a dream come true._

Akaashi stood across from him in a suit that matched his own and they were both crying a little bit but they were _happy_. 

"Never in a million years," Bokuto started, "would I have thought I would get here. You were always on a whole other level from me, and you never-" His voice broke and he cleared his throat. "You never needed my love to be whole, and I knew that. But if I was gonna fall for anybody, I knew it would be you."

**...even smaller time skip...**

Bokuto's face was covered in tears, and Akaashi really wasn't much better, but they were grinning too. 

"I thought I could avoid it," Akaashi admitted, voice unsteady. "I pretended that you were nothing more than a friend. But I couldn't get you out of my head and I don't want to think about where I would be if you hadn't shown up at my house that night."

And they both broke down and Bokuto was sobbing loud, ugly sobs and Akaashi's hands shook when they swapped rings and everyone was cheering. 

_Everything was perfect._


End file.
